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Dear Dude 'n Nem...


Don't get me wrong—I'm a fan of your one-and-only song, and I'm thrilled about your newfound success on BET and the like. But... the whole MySpace bulletins thing. It's got to stop. You've sent me like nine bulletins today. And I'm pretty sure that "Vote 'Watch My Feet' To 106 & Park Today!!!!!" and "PLEASE VOTE DUDE 'N NEM VIDEO ON BET!" mean the exact same thing. It'd be one thing if you had nine different things to tell me, but you don't. You have one thing to tell me... nine times.

Please understand that not only have I received my instructions, I also understand them thoroughly. They're clear as day, and I'm 100% sure they won't ever become clearer than they are right now. In fact, if I continue to receive these instructions so unrelentingly, I may begin to lose touch with my own perceptions and faculties. If that happens, I may very well be _less_ capable of following said instructions. So let's not jinx things.

Also, MySpace actually allows its users to send out _non-instructional_ bulletins as well. Some bulletins are what we call "informative." An example of this would be a bulletin titled "DIRTY VERSION OF 'WATCH MY FEET' NOW AVAILABLE ON ITUNES--'WATCH MY FEET' NOW WITH EFF WORDS U DIIIIIIIIIIIG???" You should give it a try one of these days.

Anyway, that's all for now. Don't stay too cold up in this muff-muff.

Warm + Fuzzies,